On living in sin.

“Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”

“You have to test drive the car before you buy it!”

Everyone has a different view on living in sin.

It seems to be a pretty common topic among my age group, so I figured I’d give my opinion on it. I was dead set on not living with Andrew before we got married. Everyone has heard the statistic that you have a 50% greater chance of getting divorced if you cohabitate before marriage. That scared the crap out of me. I know what it’s like to live in a broken home and I definitely don’t want that for my children. I was also listening to a lot of Dr. Laura at the time and all her belittling people who “shack up” made me believe it was the worst thing on Earth.

Guess what? We live together and I wouldn’t change it for the world. And you know what else? That statistic is inaccurate. Not only do they say that statistic is irrelevant these days, but a statistic can be made to say anything. So screw statistics. I am no longer afraid of getting divorced because we live together.

We chose to live together because it made sense. It works for us.

When I moved to Michigan to be closer to Andrew I decided not to live with him. Our relationship was still new and we had spent so little face-to-face time together. Seeing each other for a week or two here and there is definitely much different than living in the same town. You can only get to know each other so much over the telephone, although it did wonders for our communication. So I moved in with two roommates, one of which I had never met before and the other I had hung out with once. It was a DISASTER. Seriously, worst roommates ever. To top it off, Andrew’s roommates decided to hate me. We were both unhappy with our living situation.

We both stuck it out for the year, but knew something had to change after that. Neither of us could afford an apartment of our own, so we had to do what I didn’t want to do. I can’t say that is the best reason for us moving in together, but like I said, it works for us.

Moving in together was exciting and fun. We didn’t have a rough adjustment period. We’ve embraced each other’s quirks and occasionally bicker over stupid things. I love that he warms up my side of the bed before I get in it every night. I love that I get to cook him breakfast in bed. I love that we get to hang out in OUR living room without having to worry about anyone else. We can leave dishes in the sink and know that they are ours and we will do them when we feel like it. Living together has been nothing but a good experience for us.

However, I think a lot of people get stuck in relationships because they move in together. I don’t think it’s smart for everyone and I think people should have a clear understanding of where their relationship is going before jumping into an apartment together. Once you live together it’s a lot harder to break up should your relationship take a turn for the worst. People get the idea that they can’t leave because all of their things are intertwined and they are dependent on each other. That is when problems arise.

Communication is so important. We decide things together and talk them through. When things aren’t right, we discuss it and fix the problem. When things are right, we talk about it and celebrate! We have a clear understanding of where our relationship is, and where it’s going.

I have no doubt in my mind that Andrew and I will get married someday. He’ll still buy the cow, even though the milk is free. He’s taking an extended test drive, if you will.